Church Of The Unexpected

Some churches survive much as their architects first visualised them, nicely weathered but otherwise unaltered by the passage of time. Others might be worth visiting for some rare survival, something you won't see elsewhere. But most have just evolved slowly over the centuries with each generation adding a layer of history, eventually producing a harmonious whole. Then there's St Peter's at Theberton.

Like an eager shopper in a bazaar, St Peter's has collected all kinds of queer things along the way. None of it quite fits together, but it's all worth investigating. You'll have already noticed that it has a thatched roof; most churches in this part of the world must have been thatched at some stage, but it's unusual to still see it on such a large building. Thatched roofs have to have a steeper pitch than tile or slate roofs, which always makes the tower look a bit small and out of scale.

And it's a round tower. You rarely find these outside of Norfolk and Suffolk and it seems to be a result of the type of building stone available. We just don't have anything other than flint or field stones, neither of which is any good for making corners, and it's expensive to bring stone in from elsewhere. So, a round tower it is! What's that sticking out on either side, up at the top?

Gargoyles! This one is lower down but it's much the same as those on the tower. The "giant cigar" is just a piece of lead piping to protect the stonework while ejecting rainwater away from the building. The odd name comes from the Latin gargula, meaning "throat" (the same root as the English verb to gargle). Ugly faces on buildings which are not water spouts are officially not "gargoyles", but "grotesques".

Once inside we find an almost barn-like space which is at first glance rather disappointing. Then your eye is drawn to a splash of colour on your right-hand side.

Whatever kind of psychedelic substances inspired decoration like this? 

In the nineteenth century the Doughty family paid for a lot of work on the church and decided that the south aisle should be a memorial to the doughty Doughty's, echoing the grandeur of medieval family chapels. A few scraps of old medieval paintwork were uncovered and from these the original decoration was re-envisioned. How accurate it is must be in some doubt, but the general effect has been achieved. Maybe.

It's certainly memorable, anyway.

As the previous picture hinted, they didn't stop with the arcade, but carried on across the ceiling.

Even more astonishing is this extravagant memorial to one of the Doughty's. Interestingly, nearby there's a very simple plaque to "Charles Montagu Doughty, poet and explorer". His book Travels in Arabia Deserta was highly praised by Lawrence of Arabia, no less.

Looking back into the nave, you can see that the organ has also been brightly decorated. We need to drag ourselves away from the Technicolor glory of the south aisle and see what else is here.

The font, sitting in the bell tower, is from the fifteenth century and is decorated with lions and other fabulous beasts.

Up in the chancel I found this carving on one of the bench ends. I think it's Victorian as it all looks a bit too crisp to be earlier - it's hard to resist putting your hand on the head of the angel when entering or leaving the pew and they are usually worn smooth, if not actually battered, by the passing years.

I rather liked the big east window - very colourful and detailed. That's Victorian too. But just how old is this church? Unless you are particularly nosey, or have read about it beforehand, you might miss the oldest feature. To see that you have to try a rather plain wooden door and step into the vestry.

On turning around you'll find a rounded arch decorated with carved chevrons. And that is definitely Norman, so around 900 years old. Time to go outside again, I think.

But whatever's this, in a case on the wall of the porch? 

On the morning of June 17th, 1917 a German Zeppelin airship was shot down over the village. It burst into flames and the crew plunged to earth. Remarkably two of the crew of nineteen survived. A fragment of the ill-fated airship is preserved here and the dead were buried in the cemetery opposite the church - "Who art thou that judgest another man's servant." Rom. XIV-IV. 

Just outside the church door there's this tomb. It has an inscription on top:

HERE IS A STONE TO SITT UPON

UNDER WHICH LIES IN HOPES TO RISE TO Y DAY OF BLISSE AND HAPPINESSE

 HONEST JOHN FENN, THE SONNE OF WILLIAM FENN, 

CLARKE AND LATE RECTOR OF THIS PARISH. 

BEING TURNED OUT OF THIS LIVING AND SEQUESTERED

FOR HIS LOYALTY TO THE LATE KING CHARLES THE FIRST 

HEE DEPARTED THIS LIFE ON THE 22 DAY OF OCTOBER ANNO DOMINI 1678.

Rev John Fenn lived to see the return of the monarchy and with a final thumbing of the nose to his Puritan persecutors he invites you to "sitt upon" his stone, something aimed to really make their pious blood boil. Priceless.

You just never know what to expect when you set out to explore one of the nearly 9,000 village churches in England.

Take care.