The Old Grey Ferguson

The Old Grey Ferguson

When I was a young fella-me-lad

I worked down on the farm

They gave me lots of jobs to do

Where I could be no harm

But when nobody was about

And no one to complain

I climbed up on the Ferguson

And rattled off down the lane.

 Oh! Crunch go the gears

  Clatter, bang and groan

  So long as I'm on me Ferguson

  I never curse or moan

  I'm twice as well contented

  As any man alive

  Me and the old grey Ferguson

  A-Rattling down the drive

It's not much good for ploughin'

That suits me to the ground

What could be more tedious

Than drivin' up an' down

I takes the hens their corn

And then I takes the horse his hay,

Then I jumps up on me tractor

And I rattles along me way.
Crunch go the gears...  

The chaps that does the ploughin'
They work so late at nights

But lucky for me the Ferguson

She don't have any lights

So seven o'clock in the mornin'

Is the time of my departures

An' I'm always home in time enough

To listen to The Archers.
Crunch go the gears...

So if perchance you travel

Down some English country road

And find your way's obstructed

By a slowly movin' load

Just sit and watch the scenery

Enjoy the flowers of spring

You can blow your hooter if you like

But I shan't hear a thing
 For crunch go the gears...

A rather silly song made up at a time when I felt that many so called Modern Folk Songs weren't being written for "folks" at all, but for "posh people and hinty-lek-chewalls" as Old Bert would have said. I hope he'd have approved of this little ditty which is a sort of updated version of a semi-real folk song called "Rattling Old Grey Mare" or "The Country Carrier". For those in foreign parts I should perhaps point out that The Archers is a very long-running British radio programme that was billed as "an everyday story of countryfolk".

Take care, tractor boys!